RE: CosModel Drama Has to Stop
So there’s an article going around and I’m going to come right out and say that I hate nearly everything about it. It is entitled “CosModel Drama Has to Stop”
I won’t be linking it here because I honestly don’t want to give that shitty article any page traffic, and so I will post the screenshots of it here, so you don’t have to support that foolishness either. The article is basically one of those ever-popular articles launching unwarranted vitriol at any cosplayers who don’t fit the author’s definition of a “real nerd” or “true cosplayer.” You’ve seen them: the ones claiming Yaya Han is the anti-Christ and that popular cosplayers are somehow ruining the hobby (an issue I addressed in another post). After the screenshots of the article in question, I will be providing my personal reaction and analysis of it, as well as my impression of the author (as I have had the…experience of interacting with her).
To me (and countless others who have read it) this particular article was heavily laced with personal bitterness, gatekeeping/nerd elitism, a personal vendetta, and my personal favorite word of the day: salt. All this is wrapped in an utterly childish tone akin to something a jaded 12 year old would write down in their journal after seeing their classmate get a gold star. Bashing the “popular” kids is pretty standard for a middle schooler, but for an adult who claims to want to “end the drama” and bring the cosplay community together, it’s disappointing and inexcusable. The author opens with the statement that she is “so sick of these CosModel Divas” (doesn’t really roll off the tongue, but I digress) that she’s is “calling [them] out.” She then goes on to define whatever the fuck a “CosModel Diva” is, and it all just reeks of “oh, you think you’re all that, don’t you?” vibes, which is just so incredibly cringeworthy. If someone is extremely confident in themselves, it really shouldn’t bother anyone else. If someone walks around like the sun shines out of their ass, good for them, honestly. It’s not hurting me for someone else to feel good about themselves, so why would I ever find it upsetting? The sentiment the author expresses is indicative of a person who hasn’t grown enough to not be threatened by someone else’s happiness, and it’s a bit sad.
The author then goes on to type a list of petty grievances, including that she “absolutely despise[s] people who cosplay something before it even comes out,” and provides an example in which the sight of seeing a woman cosplay Street Fighter’s “Laura” character evoked hatred. She then throws in some gatekeeping goodness as a bonus by tossing out the word phrase “fan fraud.” This is the exact same bullshit that sexist douchebags and bitter nerd boys like to throw at girls and women who choose to engage in cosplaying and con-going…and it’s disgusting. You cannot impose your “real nerd” standards on another person. You can’t say what it does or doesn’t mean to be a fan, or dictate how someone should participate in a fandom or cosplay. If you have requirements for being a “nerd” (What the fuck? Grow up), and actually feel rage and hatred towards anyone who doesn’t meet those requirements, you are one of the people create darkness in an otherwise kickass community; you are part of the problem. Popular cosplayers, people who cosplay characters for reasons besides hardcore idol worship (such as simply liking the costume design), and even people who just really like attention, are not ruining cosplay. As long as a person isn’t hurting anyone or being an otherwise shitty and miserable creature who goes out of their way to inflict their bullshit onto others, I can guarantee you that they aren’t ruining cosplay.
Despite all the shade throwing and cattiness in her article, the author makes an attempt to claim that she wrote it in order to “stop the drama” and educate others…and that attempt is as phony and transparent as a fading mirage. If you truly want to end “the drama,” then you work on spreading positivity and you work on yourself. You don’t engage in gatekeeping behaviors. You don’t craft a poorly written “call out” article in a childish tone.
Additionally, you don’t fucking make unfounded and bizarre assumptions about why a person may have chosen to cosplay a particular character, such as what the author does in saying, “CosModel Divas, stop pretending you picked the character because you actually loved the character instead of ‘hey I might get a ton of followers for this.'” Who are you to say what another cosplayer’s motivation is for picking the characters they cosplay? Why are you calling them liars when they say that they cosplay characters they like, based solely on the fact that they may have a social media following? Even if they are choosing their cosplays with internet fame, followers, and sponsorship in mind, who fucking cares? We can’t keep saying “Cosplay is for everyone” and then tell someone who they can and can’t cosplay, or what they should base their cosplay decisions on. It’s complete bullshit and hypocrisy and I’m honestly sickened by the levels of sheer pettiness in this article. You cannot claim you want to end the drama and cattiness when your entire article is attacking anyone who doesn’t fit your definition of a true cosplayer, anyone who happens to be “cosfamous,” anyone who you’re honestly probably just fucking jealous of.
I’m honestly amazed that the author somehow managed to touch off on everything I’ve addressed to far in my own posts: cosfame, crowdfunding, and drama. I’m even more amazed that she managed to do so in every single way that I consider harmful and pointless.
The demon that maybe infected the author :/
I am just so extremely tired of seeing these articles claiming that “cosfame” and “fake geek girls” are ruining the community when the reality is that the only major fucking thing ruining the community is jealousy and gatekeeping. Live and let live. If your fun is ruined by people doing what they want in a way that isn’t causing you harm, then maybe you should find a new hobby or learn to realize when you’re being salty and unreasonable so that you can grow up. I’ll even admit that there was a time when I made the foolish mistake of assuming a “popular” cosplayer was probably just some attention seeking diva. Do you know how I corrected that? I asked myself why I felt that way, and found out I was honestly just a little fucking jealous. And then I went a step further and got to know her. Turns out she’s pretty fucking great and deserves every ounce of attention she gets. Meanwhile, we’re both having drama-free fun. Understanding, positivity, and minding your own goddamn business are the keys to fostering a fun and harmonious cosplay community. Yes, there will always be a little drama, but it’s typically avoidable, and there are ways to lessen it when it does come up (such as severing ties with toxic friends). I’ve experienced pretty much no major drama since cutting off a bad friend, and learning to actually realize that cosplay is for everybody: The hardcore fans. The hobbyists. The aspiring models. The attention seekers. Everyone.
If we’re going to keep saying that cosplay is for everyone, we need to practice what we preach. If we’re going to say that we want to keep the drama out of cosplay, we need to fucking act like it. Penning some vitriol motivated by jealousy and pettiness under the guise of trying to be the peacekeeper is not the way you make things better. It sounds to me like the author was possessed that old villain, Mister Salty. When actually faced with criticism from multiple people, rather than engaging in civil discussion or owning up to the problematic things in her post, the author responded with backtracking, hurling accusations, and…emojis. If you truly want to help, you’ll at least listen to constructive criticism and take it into consideration; you don’t become immediately defensive and respond with all the maturity and grace of a mischievous 11 year old who has been caught with their hand in the cookie jar. As a writer, especially one who claims to be writing to teach and help others, you have to be open to criticism. If you can’t handle it, it only serves to show that you’re just trying to be seen for your own sake and not to open up discussion or benefit anybody else. It’s perfectly fine if you are just writing for you, but please don’t say otherwise and then fail to live up to that claim.
I’m going to be honest: the author was not exactly acting like the shining example of someone who seems to be against pettiness and drama in the cosplay community, and is definitely not someone I’d recommend taking advice from. I’ve noticed that the people who write articles like the one she did are usually unhappy with themselves, prone to jealousy, or in need of a healthy dose of maturity. The author, for her part, has come across as incredibly unpleasant in both my interactions with her and in her unfortunate article. The article itself is tainted with enough childishness, gatekeeping, internalized misogyny (the hate she spews is clearly directed at female cosplayers, despite her small parenthetical claim to the contrary, playing off of “fake geek girl” tropes), personal vendetta, jealousy, and bitterness to fuel a mini-van sized neckbeard-mobile around the darkest depths of 4chan several times over. I do not recommend that article to anyone, and I’m annoyed that it was so atrocious that I felt compelled to write a response. The bottom line is this:
- The article was bad
- The author clearly has some growing up to do
- I am annoyed with these fucking “cosfamous ppl r ruining the community” posts when the community would be perfect if not for all the salt piles and gatekeepers out there trying to police other people’s actions
- I strongly advise the publication hosting the article to carefully review the submissions they allow on the site and think about the type of image they want to portray, because featuring such subpar, needlessly hateful and catty drivel is not a good look, and I have enjoyed many of their other works in the past
- In regards to the author’s claim that she wants to “keep working on new and more difficult cosplays”:
Anyway, I’m gonna go finish watching The Devil is a Part-Timer while doing my homework. Until next time, friends.
**Please share your thoughts below!**
~DeLa Doll
facebook.com/deladollcosplay/
Deladoll.tumblr.com
Instagram.com/dela_doll
DeLa Doll is a culture writer, cosplayer, and artist based in Florida. She has been writing professionally since 2016, with some of her work being featured on sites like HuffPo and /Film. She is an advocate for meaningful diversity and representation in media, a gamer, a mom, and an avid user of DIY hair dye.
So, I totally agree with you on all counts except, I actually read the article in question. Yes I saw some gate keeping etc. etc. I absolutely love that cosplaying is all inclusive. But to claim that the countless people who go to cons dressed as a character they know absolutely nothing about except that it would look good on them, doesn’t harm cosplaying community you are clearly ignorant or one of these people.
Let me list the countless ways it harms cosplaying community as it ORIGINALLY was before all these wannabe “nerds” started flooding us “real nerds” world.
FLASHBACK: It’s the 90’s. A young boy/girl is super enthralled by (insert socially unacceptable childhood fandom here) Gets ridiculed horrendously for years and years and years. Ridiculed for being a “nerd” Beaten and even stabbed and expelled for “threatening to [defend him/herself]” to the people who ridicule them as they have grown tired of it.
FASTFORWARD: The years go on the atrocities continue. Then one day, the now grown up fanboy/girl cosplayer is ecstatic to see that it’s no longer a cringe worthy activity to the rest of the world. Decides to go to a convention and sees all the people in costumes. Excited, the “nerd” runs up to what he/she thinks is a fellow “nerd” to innittiate a conversation about how amazing their outfit is and that the character they are cosplaying is one of their favorite characters of all time in any fiction. Then said cosplayer turns around just as excited about the compliments but is confused when the “real nerd” starts going on about certain events in the characters story. Suddenly the “real nerd” realizes they’re talking to a brick wall. No big deal on to the next one. Sees another character, yet another person who has no idea about the character they are dressed up as. “Real nerd” wanders off disheartened but still with some hope, only to have those hopes dashed when they can’t find a single person to talk to about their passion because it’s flooded with all the bullies and pieces of shit who insulted and caused irreparable damage to the “nerds” psyche dressing up as the characters they made fun of him/her for. Person decides this convention is a bust and goes home to await the next one in hopes of it being better only to find out its the same every fucking where.
Cosplayers back in the day: Loved talking about the character, cried/laughed/raged with the characters they love. Dressed up, met up, conversed with other “nerds”
Cosplayers now: Has no idea who they are dressed up as, just enjoys the attention they get from the “real nerds” they use to make fun of or hurt relentlessly.
Thats just one reason “elitism” and “gatekeeping” exists. And it exists for a damn good reason. We had almost all of our childhood social experiences ruined by people who thought it was stupid or lame. Had our outfits cut up in fights. Had our feelings stomped on by these fucking assholes. Now they dress up as our favorite fucking characters because it’s cool today?! Fuck you. Fuck you and all that you stand for because you want us to forgive and forget and be “all inclusive” when all we wanted our entire childhood was for it to be inclusive but we were hated for it, for seemingly no reason.
If you were a “nerd” as a child you are a “real nerd” in my book. You took the bullying, the beatings, the insults, then the parents and councilors and authoritative figures telling you “just give up on it” but you stick with it through the hardships. You took the bullshit and kept up with your passions despite it. THATS A REAL NERD! The word originates from my time as an insult. Now I wear it as a badge of honor, and as a reminder of all the bullshit we took in pursuit of our passions.
And now today everyone takes up the word, having forgot it’s meaning. Having never experienced the horrendous pile of shit we did. Who never fought that battle.
It’s the fucking equivalent to me calling myself a Veteran, but having never been alive for the war, or better yet having been the one who started it.
Do you get it now? Why us “real nerds” have to differentiate ourselves? Because you didn’t earn the fucking name. You didn’t god damn suffer like we did. I had one of my best friends kill himself from the ridicule. So hell yeah I’m gonna have a gatekeeper. Hell yeah I’m going to call you a fake. Hell yeah and fuck you.
That said, I have no problem with cosplaying being all inclusive. That’s all us REAL nerds wanted as children. For everyone to be in on it so we can stop being hated. Now we have it, and we are genuinely happy. But you phony fucks are going to be called out. Don’t like it? Blog about it. However IF YOU DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER do not consider yourself a nerd. Don’t you dare, you haven’t earned it. I will fight to the death if need be to make sure the bullies and assholes out there get blasted for their fake ass behavior.
You wrote this article in response to the other article but all you focused on was the one paragraph about “real nerds” There were legitimate complaints in there about other things besides that. But seeing as you only paid attention to that one part (obviously some sort of attempt at attacking someone you don’t like as a person by degrading everything she wrote due to one small part which was bad in YOUR opinion. and it’s absolutely immature) I’m going to only pay attention to this “elitism” you speak of.
P.S. Elitism isn’t why we call fake people out. It’s not that we think we are better people than you. There are a lot of shitty “nerds” who weren’t as strong as I was/am. It’s that you haven’t earned the right to be called a nerd in any way shape or form unless you grew up in my generation or before it and were a nerd during those times. And seeing as my generation was one of the last ones to ever hear the term “nerd” as an insult, if you’re younger than me you aren’t a nerd. Find your own badge because you don’t get to wear this one.
Lol i got angry at the “real nerd” bullshit and forgot to mention why the fakes who know nothing of their character are ruining cosplaying.
Here are a few examples.
Coswhores: (A minority but they do exist as male or female)
Costumers:; (doesn’t know anything about the character but liked the costume)
Bullies of nerds, turned nerd: (Self explanatory)
Cosplay Diva’s: (The ones who look down on other cosplayers for not being good enough, or someone also cosplayed as the same character so they flip out on them, you know if you read the article with an unbiased opinion, you’d know what this was)
Now before I dive into how these groups of people harm cosplaying (although I shouldn’t have to as the damage is obvious) the first two are not necessarily bad people. I just think they should go to a different convention and let us nerds meet up like it was intended.
These and many more flood the floors of conventions now. Further and fewer between do I get to meet what I consider a “real nerd” (see previous post about this ^^^). Cosplay as we knew it in the 90’s, was made for “real nerds” by “real nerds” as a place to get together and be NERDS together. After all, everyone else hated us and our hobbies or were just plain indifferent. Cosplay as it is now, is all about who looks the best and how many social media posts they get.
I’d call that harm to original cosplayers. Where do they go now that the halls are flooded with these groups? I know quite a few people who don’t go to conventions any more because they simply can’t find someone to talk to about their characters. The lines to meet the authors of our favorite books/movies/comics/etc. are flooded with people looking for attention on their twittersphere, the halls are blocked by everyone trying to get a picture with someone who knows jack shit about the character.
Let me put it to you this way. Cosplay used to be fun for nerds to meet up with other nerds. Now it’s about getting attention. Which is fine but it should be about both. Obviously you don’t cosplay if you don’t want/like attention. I’m not so foolish to view attention as a bad thing. Everyone likes it. But now those of us who just want to meet the authors, or talk to other fans about their fandom have to sort through all the bs that are the fakes.
Look most of us aren’t assholes. Even if you think we’re being elitist or whatever. We don’t think we’re better than you. Period. Hell that would be kind of hard to do considering the “real nerds” had their confidence torn to shreds. Maybe some overcompensate but the vast majority of us RN’s don’t give two flying fucks about the rest of the world and just want to be surrounded by fellow RN’s. In fact I’ve never met nicer people then when I started being social with people like me. But the fact remains, and I’m going to drive this home with every person who thinks “everyone can be a nerd,” that Nerds are either candy, or an insult used on my generation and those before me to describe people who’s fandom or hobbies differed from what was “normal”
And by that definition none of you are nerds. You did not earn it. I’m not being a dick. I’m not insulting you. I’m just excluding you from the list of people who should use it. It’s not socially acceptable to claim you were at the twin towers on 9/11 when you werent… and a lot more people died in just my generation alone than in those attacks due to bullying for being a “nerd” so why is it acceptable to take on this word of victims, when you weren’t a fucking victim?
I was one of the first to take on the name as a badge of honor, and only because by that time things were starting to turn around. Thousands upon thousands had already suffered before me. And a lot of people commit suicide over it. You insult those poor souls by claiming “nerd” as your title. Countless people suffered from bullying and hated this word with a passion. But alas it was used so widely as an insult that there was no way to “label” us except with this word. Unless you experienced our battle please, if for no other reason than what I’ve stated here… find a new damn word or stop hating on us for wanting to differentiate, because psychologically you are not us. Everyone suffers one way or another, but most claiming this badge of suffering, did no suffering at all at the hands of the “cool kids”
P.s. i digressed again feel free just to read the first post haha.
Hooooly fuck that’s a lot of words. I read the original article and addressed it as such. I don’t even know the author of the original article. I’ve never met her in person or held a conversation with her beyond a few comments. Literally hadn’t heard of her until I read her article. I don’t write out of a sense of personal vendetta or other petty motivations, but thank you for that lovely accusation and for your incredibly lengthy reply! Check out my other article on how nerds aren’t a race or an oppressed group; it may prompt you to write even more. Ultimately, I’m super glad my article made you feel something. That’s like 50% of my goal when I write; to provoke thoughts and emotions. The other 50% is to be understood, which obviously didn’t happen in your case, but that’s ok! Can’t win them all. I don’t really appreciate being accused of not reading the article I wrote a response to (something I feel strongly about. I hate when people don’t fully read and examine the media they consume before forming an opinion), nor do I appreciate being accused of writing out of personal feelings towards the author, who I don’t even know. But it’s cool, I know the truth and you will think whatever you will. Thanks for your feedback ^_^
Also, I’m not sure if you’re using the general “you” or directing that pronoun specifically at me? Could you possibly clarify?
And what generation are you from that you think you’re the last of the nerds? Christ the elitism.
Your commentary is always fun to read! ^^
It’s a really prejudiced thing to assume a lot of women are ‘coswhoring’ as well, when a lot of the time, it’s just their favourite character’s extremely provocative design. >< Calling out cosplayers because of their approach to the art is just blatant disregard for someone else's belief!
Aw, thank you! And yeah, I wasn’t digging the vibe of that article at all. Very judgmental and mean spirited
I find their article really funny actually because I find more drama in the people who consider to lump themselves into the “true” cosplayer group than in the “cosmodel” group. It’s funny because this article is nothing but drama, further proving my point since the author clearly doesn’t consider themselves a cosmodel.
The thing with girls cosplaying is that very often it goes beyond just portaying a beloved character; there’s a lot of showing off their bodies and making themselves feel good thanks to all those people admiring their work, sure, but also themselves as they are posing for pictures and stuff. I’ve witnessed dozens of times at several conventions some girls with insane bodies who are just, let’s be honest, showing their boobs under the pretext they’re cosplaying, or others who look down on your own cosplay thinking that theirs are “more professional”.
I sense in that article a good deal of jealousy, maybe even some insecure feelings about the author herself. But she has a point when she says that the cosplay divas exist. Heck, pick any field and you will always find some! The important thing to remember here though is the fact that cosplay remains above all a passion and everyone has a right to express it the way they want, as long as it doesn’t hurt others. After all, haters gonna hate and it would be a shame to let them ruin your hobby 😉
I am very happy to have stumbled on your article, heep having fun with your blog! ^^
It seems you really didn’t understand the article at all. It’s pretty clear that you ended up focusing on one factor (a single section) of the article instead of viewing it as a whole. The writer clearly seems to write about cosplayers who are, indeed, causing problems in the community. Those shit talking online.
I disagree. I addressed each section of the article, so I don’t see how you think I only focused on a single section. Different strokes for different folks, though. I stand by my work. I understood the article entirely; just didn’t agree with it.
I read the original article earlier today, thinking it was going to be a rant against snobby cosplayers, but no. Gatekeeping and judging is all it was. That author’s saltier than a Canadian highway in winter!
Amazing. Perfect. Spot the hell on. Now where’s my broom to sweep up all the salt from that old article…