Who the F*ck is DeLa Doll?

Seriously. I should know better than anyone. After all, I am DeLa Doll. No, of course that’s not my given name, but it is the name I am known by online, and wherever the light of my creativity shines. Despite this, I still found myself asking the title question “Who the fuck is DeLa Doll?

Origin Story (Not Tragic like Batman’s, I promise)

I started off my life as DeLa Doll when I began cosplaying and blogging on Tumblr back in 2014. I adopted the pseudonym “DeLa Doll” because I’ve always liked the idea of alter egos (though it’s more a large part me than an alternate version of me), and because that’s just the thing people were doing with online cosplay identities at the time. I wanted to create a whole persona dedicated solely to cosplay, and I was completely enamored with the creative aspects of the craft. It encompassed so many different areas of crafting that I had always been interested in: sewing, painting, 3D printing, experimenting with cheap materials to make something completely cool and unrecognizable from their original form. Through cosplay and Tumblr blogging, DeLa Doll was born.

As for my blogging, I’ve always been a writer, and when I outgrew Tumblr, my blogging eventually migrated to my own website. I wanted a place to write about my experiences with cosplay and the surrounding communities and subcultures associated with it. In 2016, one of my articles concerning the use of blackface in cosplay went viral. As a result, I was invited to become a contributor for Huffington Post. I published a total of five articles there between September 2016 and February 2017 (I would have done more, but they didn’t pay me and I can’t eat or buy things with exposure, though I will always be grateful for the opportunity and recognition). Three of those articles were cosplay related, and two were not. One of my non-cosplay related articles was my “Open Letter to Tim Burton”, which also went viral. I received an abundance of support and a healthy dose of criticism, ranging from constructive, to racist, to entirely unhinged. I developed a thick skin and realized I was more than just a cosplayer. I wanted to create content that focused on a variety of topics, although cosplay was still very much a part of who DeLa Doll was, and still is.

Questioning…

Fast forward a few years, and I’ve had…not quite an identity crisis, but definitely some issues with defining who I was and wanted to be. Am I actually just a cosplayer? Should I only focus on that? Should I forsake that aspect of my life and focus on writing? Should I just become a crafty suburban mom YouTuber? I’m a little of everything, but the common factor in every part is that I just really like to make things, whether it’s with fabric, makeup, spools of PLA, or a keyboard. There is so much pressure for creators to just stick to *one* thing, and I get that to some degree, but I’m not just good at one thing and I don’t just enjoy one specific, narrow thing.

Comments asking about my cosplay when I published my writing would make me wonder if I was focusing too much on a thing that wasn’t my thing. You know, the whole myth that you’re meant to do one thing and be really good at one thing, and that thing is your thing and you have to concentrate solely on that thing. Comments asking about my writing when I posted a new cosplay would do the same. Comments asking why I don’t just do this or that thing, or if I quit doing something, or if I’m going to do something would make me wonder if I was just being messy and unfocused. I would become petrified with uncertainty about my content and would go long periods without sharing or even making anything at all as a result, consumed with questioning. Who the actual fuck is DeLa Doll?

The Answer: DeLa is a Fucking…

Artist. Duh. The answer was right there all along. If we’re looking for more specific titles, I would say I’m best described as a “multimedia content creator,” but what does that mean for me? I still cosplay, and I love to cosplay! Cosplay has granted me some amazing opportunities and encouraged me to explore my creativity in a way no other hobby or interest has outside of writing:

• I couldn’t sew in 2014 when I started; now I can both draft a pattern and sew for a corset myself.
• I had an interest in 3D printing when I started, but I’ve gone from watching YouTube videos about 3D printing to owning two of my own printers. I’ve been sponsored by a 3D printer company to make a YouTube video reviewing one of their products.
• I couldn’t do any advanced makeup when I first began, and now I’ve published several cosplay makeup tutorials on YouTube. I’m even learning to do SFX makeup!
• I’ve always been a graphic designer (self-taught from the struggle days of using GIMP as a teen to taking actual digital media college courses), but I didn’t think to really share my designs and art with others, let alone open my own shop until I began cosplaying and talking with artists and vendors at conventions.
• I may not have started my own website as early as I did had I not discovered cosplay for myself, and I may not have had my first article published on a major platform as soon as I did.

I could go on, but my point is that I’ve learned it’s detrimental for me to focus too hard on trying to narrow down or question what I do. I don’t need to freak out or struggle to figure out which part of me needs to be cut down or stripped away to define who DeLa Doll is. I am already defined well enough as an artist. I just really like to make things, and I like to share them with everyone. Sometimes I like to write articles that I publish here on my website. Sometimes I like to record videos and publish them on my YouTube channel or Tiktok. Sometimes I like to take my art and turn it into merch in my shop. Sometimes I just like to take pretty pictures of my cosplay and my makeup (or my thirst traps…) and post them to Instagram and Twitter. I’m DeLa Doll: A cosplayer, a crafty suburban mom, a 3D printing enthusiast, a makeup artist, a writer. An artsy nerd. That’s me.

~DeLa Doll

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