For a while now, I’ve been steadily pulling away from the cosplay groups I once loved on Facebook. What I thought were communities of like minded individuals turned out to be cesspools for drama and general fuckery. Basically, Facebook groups that are dedicated to cosplay are more often than not:
1. Inactive, and therefore pointless
2. A volatile circle jerk of paranoid narcissists
3. Breeding grounds for drama where valid criticism isn’t allowed to exist because everyone is “just jealous” or “just salty,” which is a really dangerous mindset to have.
Sometimes people are jealous and you should take their comments with a grain of salt, other times, they may have a point. Being able to distinguish between the two is a valuable skill, and I pity the fool who fails to hone it because they’d rather protect their own fragile ego. If you can’t learn to listen and know when to take responsibility, you’re going to end up destroying yourself.
I’ve never had any particularly bad experiences with the cosplay community on any other social networking platform. I don’t know what it is about Facebook, and Facebook groups in particular, that seems to create the perfect storm for middle school leveled bullshit. These groups, I’ve come to discover, are seldom truly about cosplay or community. It is rare that real discussion can be had. It’s mostly just people scrambling for validation and looking for a reason to hold a grudge and launch an attack on their perceived “enemy” because I guess it makes them feel powerful? Weird. I’ve had one to many instances of things going wrong and watching promising friendships crumble based on foolish misunderstandings that were born in these groups. It’s easy to get pulled in, but it gets to a point where it goes too far.
Several times now I’ve been given an incomplete picture of someone based on interactions within a group. Several times now I’ve been on the receiving end of idiocy from immature children who allow their egos to guide them through life due to Facebook groups. They aren’t really places where you can play nice, and even then most harmless comment can be seen as a personal attack.
Take this as a word of caution to anyone who wants to go that route when interacting with others. I’ve met some cool friends in them, but ultimately they aren’t for me. Part of this could be due to the type of person I am: I’m someone who is very opinionated while also trying to examine my own bias and be fair. I hold myself to the same standard I’ll hold anyone else to, and I don’t really care how much or how little of a following someone has; I treat everyone the same. Some people don’t like when you don’t grant them an extra kiss on the ass based on how popular they feel they are. My lips were made for eating and talking, not ass kissing. Sorry. And as it turns out, that just isn’t a good fit for most groups, especially not in a community that sometimes attracts narcissists who need virtual validation to love themselves while they lash out at others.
In the past few weeks I’ve seen or experienced the following:
-Someone literally faked their own death to avoid being called out for telling other cosplayers and people to kill themselves among other disgusting behaviors
-Several people publicly lashing out at their fans for not buying their prints and artwork, blaming their fans for a loss of money and resources as opposed to asking themselves why their merchandise isn’t selling (That’s really bad PR, btw)
-A bizarre misunderstanding resulting in someone I hardly know or speak of going out of their way to try and “call me out” for an imaginary slight. This person made it a point to try and tear me down when I’ve never said anything about them, in addition to claiming they “tried to help” me, which is bizarre because I:
1. Don’t speak to them or of them
2. Never asked them for help with anything
3. Am assuming they’re talking about the one time they randomly shared one of my posts, which is cool, but it’s a bit odd that it meant so much to them. To each their own, however.
It’s all very strange and exhausting. I can block and block all day, but the drama will just keep flowing in the longer I decide to participate in any group at any capacity. Additionally, there are some people I’ve met who come across as one way online and another way in person, and rather than allow myself to completely write someone off based solely on Facebook interactions, I’d rather just meet in person.
That said, if you see me at a con, hit me up! I love meeting fellow nerds…but please don’t invite me to your Facebook group 😆
I like the cosplay community on the whole because it’s full of creative people with a lot of common interests and fun, but it’s stuff like this that can be kinda off putting.
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