Personal Experiences with Sexism in the Cosplay Community 

DeLaDoll

DeLa Doll is a culture writer, cosplayer, and artist based in Florida. She has been writing professionally since 2016, with some of her work being featured on sites like HuffPo and /Film. She is an advocate for meaningful diversity and representation in media, a gamer, a mom, and an avid user of DIY hair dye.

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  1. Dina Farmer says:

    I don’t understand what is wrong with people sometimes! It is crazy how they suddenly feel empowered to say crazy things just because you are a cosplayer. That doesn’t mean you are suddenly up to fulfilling their fantasies because you dress up.

    I’m so sorry you have experianced this!

  2. B says:

    What the hell is wrong with people? I think your armor looks great, as does your MJ cosplay. And I agree. That guy whining about that Harley photo probably wasn’t whining about it when it was in a comic. Why do people act like it’s impossible to comment on something without being a weirdo? There are hundreds of things you could say instead of making a tits comment. Or hey, if you can’t for whatever reason, keep walking and keep your mouth shut.

  3. For me, I don’t really cosplay so I don’t really get these comments from other dudes. However, I did at one point game a lot. I played Xbox Live a lot and men would demean me all the time through that. Sending me messages when they found out I was a girl. Then I would win and then the comments turned grossly offensive.

    I read your entire post and it identified with me about how I have been treated by the opposite sex. For me it wasn’t in the cosplay area. For me when someone says these comments I basically call them out. Then they apologize saying they didn’t know it was offensive. It’s so hard to believe that they wouldn’t know it’s offensive….

    I’m sorry you experienced this. The armor is super cool btw!! 🙂

    • DeLa Doll says:

      I’ve experienced the same thing when gaming! My screen names are usually not telling of my gender, and I tend to play with male and female avatars, so sometimes things will be cool for a while and then someone finds out I’m a girl and it all goes to shit with weird messages and harassment -_- Not every time, but more often than not. And I agree; they definitely know they were being offensive most of the time and just feel comfortable acting that way because they aren’t used to being called on it

  4. You can’t have it both ways. People will either comment negatively or positively on sexuality they see (and cosplay is just one of many examples, anywhere fashion or clothing or bodies are involved is included in this) if they comment negatively, they’re a prude who can’t appreciate hard work, and if they comment positively, they’re a pervert.

    You can’t honestly take that reference photo of Mary Jane seriously, I mean good lord look how sexual it is. That character drawing is literally rolling in sexuality. I’m surprised her nips aren’t drawn on as well. Is that bad or good? Do you want people to see you as sexy or cute, or womanly, or do you want them to see you as a plastic sexless barbie doll? I mean, again, what are people supposed to comment on?

    Men and women get criticized for their bodies (or praised, or leered at, blah de blah.) I don’t see any of it as sexist because it’s not just one sex attacking the other, it’s just people who are ignorant about the craftsmanship in general and like to be critical or give out comments that don’t really strike the fancy of the artists receiving the comments. I mean if somebody showed me photos of a motor they had built I’d be ignorant and say something like “cool haha very shiny. pretty car.” I don’t know shit about car building. What am I supposed to comment? I think this is more along the lines of ignorant comments and opinions that, like every single opinion on earth, do not matter. Including my opinion on this matter.

    • DeLa Doll says:

      I’m not sure what you mean by “you can’t have it both ways”
      When and where did I ask to have something “both ways?”
      I never implicitly or explicitly called anybody prudish. I don’t typically care that people comment on my looks or my body, but when they do so in a way that is meant to disrespect me, belittle me, or be dismissive of my work based solely on the fac, then of course I’m going to take issue. And I never said I had a problem with positive comments. In fact, I fucking love positive comments! Several men and women on the same Mary Jane post the other screenshots from commented on my looks and it didn’t bother me because they
      1. Weren’t disrespectful
      2. …that’s pretty much it! It’s almost as though it’s possible to make comments without being an ass. Crazy, right?

      “What are people supposed to comment on?”
      Anything, really. It’s not like there’s suddenly nothing to talk about if you can’t spout off about TNA. I don’t even have a problem with people talking about it; it’s only an issue when the nature of it is rude and comes from a negative place. But I guess you missed that?

      Being ignorant about craftsmanship == Guess I gotta say you didn’t bother putting in effort because I can see cleavage! And the majority of the comments posted came from other cosplayers. If anyone is going to be “ignorant about craftsmanship” it probably shouldn’t be them.

      Finally, your comparison of someone showing you a motor they built and you not knowing what to say to me showing a fellow cosplayer (one who happens to be really into armor and “craftsmanship”) armor and him making it about my breasts despite the fact that I’m not even seen in the picture and the armor in question was fucking knee pads doesn’t even make sense. Just like his reply didn’t even make sense. A more accurate comparison would be if someone showed you a picture of a motor they built and you replied “haha you gonna stick your dick in that?” But that’d just show how fucking ridiculous his comment was, and since you’re clearly hellbent on being willfully obtuse, we can’t have that.

      The men in the comments aren’t random people who know nothing about cosplay; they’re actual cosplayers. So your excuse about it just being people who don’t know anything about it and are at a loss for words doesn’t really work here, but like, thanks for sharing your thoughts! I always welcome different perspectives and feedback, even if I don’t personally agree with them.

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