Let’s Talk About Arya
The final season of Game of Thrones has started. We’re two episodes in, and since I don’t want to be the asshole who posts spoilers all over Facebook and Twitter, I will discuss them here, on my own website that I have complete control over. Consider that your warning. Now, let’s talk about Arya.
I’m just gonna get right into it: Arya got laid. Initially, it made me uncomfortable. I had to do some unpacking to figure out why because, after all, it was probably one of the least offensive sex scenes in Game of Thrones‘ history. Why?
- It wasn’t incestuous
- It wasn’t coercive or manipulative
- It wasn’t rape
- The involved parties were consenting adults
Additionally, we’ve seen Arya literally murder the fuck out of people. She’s been sending grown men to their graves since she was a child, so why would a consensual sex scene in which she’s of age make people feel a bit squeamish? Maybe it’s because we’ve been with these characters over the course of several years, and our first memory of Arya is of her as an 11-year-old child. It’s also not a secret that society has issues with positive depictions of female sexuality, especially when it comes to accepting the fact that girls grow up and become women who may want to actually have and enjoy sex. Shocking, I know. The ongoing cultural tradition of fathers “jokingly” threatening to murder their daughters’ prom dates in an effort to protect their chastity is a good example of this. Or maybe it’s because Game of Thrones, while one of my favorite shows of all time, has never really been good at handling female nudity and sexuality. In fact, it has honestly kind of fucking sucked in that regard, crossing the line into offensive and gratuitous many times over. Who could forget (though we may try) the fact that Jaime forced himself onto Cersei right in front of Joffrey’s corpse? And let’s not even go into detail about Sansa and Ramsay’s unfortunate wedding night. Neither scene added anything to the story because:
- We already knew Ramsay was insanely cruel and psycho-sexually sadistic. We’re talking about the man who castrated Theon and sent his dick to his family. A man who captured and hunted women like animals for sport. We didn’t really need more graphic evidence.
- Jaime was literally in the middle of his redemption arc! IT MADE NO SENSE. It didn’t make him more complex. We didn’t forget that he pushed a child out of a window just because he helped Brienne. Just the fact that he’s in an incestuous relationship with his sister was enough to for us to keep in mind that, while he was becoming a better Jaime, he was still kind of a fucked up guy. The rape was wholly unnecessary and confusing.
It is with this gratuitous sexual violence in mind that I realized Arya’s scene was incredibly mild by the show’s standards (and probably a lot of other standards when it comes to sex scenes). Perhaps it’s just jarring to come to terms with the fact that little girls grow up and do adult things, but rather than focusing on that, we should be happy that was able to Arya choose her own fate. She got to dictate when, how, and with whom she had her first sexual encounter, which is more than we can say for a majority of the show’s female leads.
And sure, there are those who argue that the scene felt forced and excessive, but I feel that it helped to humanize Arya, who has mostly lived for the sake of killing and vengeance. I don’t think that her wanting to experience intimacy with someone she cared for at a time where she felt the world was literally going to come to an end was unrealistic. In fact, I feel like it was pretty relatable. If I knew I was probably going to get slaughtered by an ice zombie, I’d probably wanna get laid one last (or first) time too, but not with just anyone, and Gendry isn’t just anyone to Arya. They know each other. They have a history of sorts. They have a mutual fondness and respect for one another. Besides, she’s busted many a skull, so why not let her bust a nut in peace before shit gets real?
Ultimately, I’m happy for Arya. Every sexually active adult was once a child, so is it really so weird that an adult Arya is doing adult things? No. If responses to the scene on Twitter are anything to go by, maybe we’re just weird for being less put off by Jon Snow clapping his aunt’s cheeks than we are by Arya the Adult & Assassin banging one of Winterfell’s most eligible bachelors before the Night King shows up.
~DeLa Doll
DeLa Doll is a culture writer, cosplayer, and artist based in Florida. She has been writing professionally since 2016, with some of her work being featured on sites like HuffPo and /Film. She is an advocate for meaningful diversity and representation in media, a gamer, a mom, and an avid user of DIY hair dye.
